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Sex n Things
Sex n Things
 August 04, 2010

          Needless to say, sex has been around a long hot time.  As a matter of fact many scientists and life coaches agree sex may just be hotter than we originally thought.  Why?  Based on the most current transient theory of evolution we have the axiom:  It all started with the stars.  It goes like this:
 

          Everything around us, animate, inanimate or the like, has been begotten or begets.  Begetting is far more common.  Recent astronomy has demonstrated that the stars we see twinkling every night actually have small reproductive organs; some male, some female depending on their sex.  The female stars have proven to be the more aggressive of these heavenly bodies blinking faster and shining brighter thus attracting the less intelligent sex driven male stars (“celebrity” stars in astronomical jargon).  Traveling often millions of light years the males bombard each other with ultraviolet rays in the aptly named “Battle of the Stars”; the victor hooking up with the flashy female.  Swelling to an enormous size the male star’s reproduction organ often triples in size as he prematurely sprays the female with Omega-3.   She blinks wildly feigning satisfaction with his sad performance and then destroys anything that was ever good about him in the first place.  Her offspring, the planets, remain deep inside her until she can’t stand it any longer and flings them into orbit around her where they remain dependent on her far too long.  They eventually go off on their own meeting their predictable freezing, sad demise. 

          The prevalent theory is that through evolution mankind mimics this behavior even referring to the most attractive of their species as stars in their own right deifying their distant past.  Many of the letters found on this website are indicative of this all too human preoccupation with the past and, as a life coach, presented me with a compelling need to “fire with both barrels” at the stupid questions asked. 


 

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